everythingeverythingeverythingeverything...

Courtesy of www.famousdays.com, I now know that on today, June 23, in the year -

930 The world's oldest parliament, the Iceland Parliament, was established

1295 Pope Boniface VIII enters Rome

1724 Russia and Turkey sign Treaty of Constantinople

1848 Antoine Joseph Sax patents the Saxophone

1860 The U.S. Secret Service is created

1925 British warship fires on Hong Kong harbor strikers

1951 British diplomats Guy Burgess and Donald Maclean flee to the U.S.S.R.

1955 Walt Disney's "Lady & the Tramp" released

1975 Rocker Alice Cooper falls off stage in Vancouver, breaks 6 ribs

1983 Syria throws out PLO leader Arafat

1993 U.N. authorizes worldwide oil embargo against Haiti

1996 Nintendo 64 goes on sale in Japan

Todays history lesson...

Well last night I was musing over what I wrote yesterday. Me and 'Mr Fertility' (a curt response from a male friend I was talking to about it).

Show him what he's missing.

What is he missing? He is such a twat, he probably doesn't realise what he's got and how lucky he is.

I asked him recently if he was looking forward to the new arrival. Not that I care but making small talk as you do. Turns out he isn't, the pregnancy wasn't planned for and I suppose he's feeling sorry for himself that he was somehow tricked into it. I don't hold any sympathy for him.

When our little fling ended four years ago, it ended badly. I doubted myself and I suppose it messed with my head a little bit. I was at art college at the time and would stay up all night painting because I was so upset I couldn't sleep. Stupid really.

Considering I didn't know the whole truth at the time.

Turns out you can find out quite a lot from awkward small talk. I found out his eldest child is four. Our fling was a bit less than four years ago, the end of 2002.

I was just his bit on the side.

A bit on the side of what I imagine was a devoted girlfriend and a new born son. His first child.

Not that any of it matters now. I haven't told him that he slipped on a banana skin with that shred of information. I don't need revenge do I?

If you're an evil bitch like myself, then you'll probably spend a lot of time thinking of new ways to piss people off. Well someone after my own heart has got a website called www.getannoyed.com

Its a bit daft, but I wish I tried some of these when I used to work in a very morose, victorian cane-yer-arse style solicitors office -

"Compose all your emails in rhyming couplets."

"Page your co-workers to call their extensions so they call themselves."

"Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)"

"Put those hole reinforcing circles on the centre of your spectacles. Now go to that executive meeting."

"When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, “I think my phone is ringing” and leave. Go get a coffee."

Obviously copyright of whatever geezer writes the stuff on www.getannoyed.com

I think wherever you work, office or otherwise... surely everyone has played the game where you try and insert popular song lyrics into everything you say. Maybe not...

Anyway... on a more gossipy (is that a word, who knows) note. I've been in casual contact with a Mr X from way back when, well four years ago to be exact... when I was a wee 17yrs old and he was 24 or something.

Anyhoo... a lot has changed since then, for him... he has a steady relationship going with two young children and another on the way. He ain't half been busy.

So the majority of the casual contact we have is awkward small talk. We obviously don't have much in common anymore... him with his perfect nuclear family and me a single woman. He seems reluctant to share details of his family life with me but he always was a miserable bastard, he admits as much.

He's got a new job which means he will be working near to where I live some of the time.

He wants to see me.

... I love that self help garb, its a load of bollocks.

Listening to: Placebo, Every Me Every You
Eating: Bombay mix (for the love of God, I don't know why)
Wearing: jeans, peachy coloured tee, goldy suede flats
Loving: the beautiful sunshine lately
Hating: Grace off Big Bro... shes ghastly (in less polite terms, shes a fucking bitch)

Anyhoo, one hasn't posted for some time because quite frankly this is just therapy and lately one has been finding therapy at the bottom of a wine bottle instead.

But aren't we all looking forward to the World Cup starting tomorrow? All them gorgeous men (some of them) prancing about in shorts, day in day out. I know, its an insult to those who take it more seriously but whatever.

My fave dishy footballer is Nuno Gomes from Portugal. I have had a pathetic crush on him since hmmm... was it Euro 2000? Yes... I quite avidly watched all the Portugal fixtures that year.

I think its the hair, those beautiful big brown doe eyes and those lips...

Of course, I want England to win... who doesn't? And that Crouchy is adorable in his own silly robot dance way... Rooney quite cute in his Mr Potato head kinda way (if only we could pop off his damaged little foot and replace it with a pristine new one).